From (my) birth to that first time on-the-mat, I had accumulated so much physical and emotional ‘stuff’ — stuff I had held-in/pushed-down — and (in turn) became ‘stuck’ in the joints, tissues, and ligaments of my body. It showed in my skin, (slow) digestion, actions and reactions.
That whole first year (on my mat), I was a mess. I called myself a ‘fish out of water’ because I was slipping and sliding all over the place in my tears and sweat - getting frustrated and mad at myself - and would even quit and leave the class. However I felt an innate, natural understanding that this was something I needed to continue. As challenging as it was to show up - somehow I knew that Suze’s style was precisely the practice I needed to become balanced. Her style of yoga is unique, profound and extraordinary.
During my second year, though my poses still felt completely out of alignment, I noticed I was becoming more patient with myself.
I eliminated anti-depressants……which I don’t know why I was taking in the first place….’was just doing what someone else said was good for me. I would also binge on sugar. I realized these things were only making me feel worse and had become crutches - allowing me to stifle and stuff my feelings. The pain inside was only being pushed further down. Yoga brought those feelings UP and pushed them OUT. Layers of frustration, regret, anxiety, guilt, doubt, worry, disappointment, and being a follower were melting away and I was feeling ‘lighter’…or enlightened. I could actually SIT STILL with myself, and was seeing negativity through calm, compassionate eyes. I realized the power of forgiveness and was much less reactive. I began moving with - instead of fighting against. Those little whispers that I had been (initially) trying to ignore were becoming more evident — as my truth — and I started listening.
The mental/emotional transformation was already apparent in my actions and in my life; but, as I started my third year, I realized that my body had completely changed from the inside through to the outside, physiologically. My muscles, bones, nerves, digestive tract, endocrine system, and reproductive system were becoming soothed and balanced. My skin looked different because I had restored my vitality.
Now in my fourth year, I am free from ‘victim’ thinking……no more pain or fear-based living. I love myself and I love everyday. I love my body! I couldn’t have been this way without Suze and all of the sweat, breath, movement, tears, yelling and vibrational sound that I have experienced on that mat. Yoga made my heart open to giving and receiving love. Yoga helped me to develop a beautiful, intense awareness for my health and I vowed never again to take my emotions, my body or the whispers from my heart for granted. (Yoga-Addison,TX/Yoga-Dallas,TX)
