Train Wreck

…….My doctors had diagnosed me……with a very painful and debilitating condition……that I would never be able to have a child…..As a result of this condition and its impact on my life, I became extremely depressed. I was also experiencing tremendous headaches, carpal tunnel for which surgery was recommended, hip problems and back problems……Yoga simply gave me the tools to heal (read below)…..I felt so wonderful that I practiced yoga up until the day before my son was born…..Not long after, I became pregnant again and experienced that same beautiful pregnancy, delivery and recovery with my daughter. ~~ E.W.
(Note: E.W. is expecting her 3rd child in March, 2007)

In the Summer of 2000, I should have been the happiest person in the world. I was a newly licensed attorney and newly married to the man of my dreams. But instead of being happy, I was miserable. I hated my job, was not feeling fulfilled, and was experiencing some personal medical issues. My doctors had diagnosed me……about 6 months before my wedding……a very painful and debilitating condition……Because of the treatments I was undergoing, this time was obviously not the romantic newlywed period I had dreamed about. My doctors started preparing me for the possibility that I may not be able to experience a life without pain. I was beginning to fear that I would never be able to have a child – my ultimate dream…..As a result of this condition and its impact on my life, I became extremely depressed. ……My marriage was affected, my career was affected, and most importantly my self-esteem was affected. My doctors deduced that stress was playing a part in my condition so they sent me to therapy and put me on anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication to cope.

In addition to this physical problem, I was also experiencing tremendous headaches, carpal tunnel for which surgery was recommended, hip problems and back problems. My body seemed to be a train wreck.

In 2001, I made a decision to relieve some of the stresses in my life. Now if you knew me well, you would know that trying new things is not really my strong suit. I am often afraid of new situations and don’t like changes of any kind. But for some reason, I was ready for just that. I had always been a devout runner and weight trainer, but it was no longer giving me the satisfaction that it once did. I was bored with my workouts and longing for something that would really release the endorphins I needed. I had been driving home from work one day when I saw that your yoga studio was opening……But I didn’t follow through on actually going to a class until months later when a friend mentioned that she was going to the same studio. She shared with me the unbelievable physical changes she had experienced since starting yoga. While it was not necessarily physical changes that I was searching for, I hoped at least it would help alleviate some of my stress.

The next week, I went to my first class. I didn’t know it at the time, but it was one of the most important decisions that I have ever made, a decision that has changed my life. After just a few sessions, I saw my life changing. Not only did my body feel renewed and strong, but my outlook on life was changing. I think my husband saw the changes before even I did. I would come home from a workout and be filled with renewed energy. I was a happier person, more relaxed and confident. I saw hope for the future.

Just a few months into my practice, you held a weekend workshop. This was the changing point in my life. I wish I could put into words what that workshop meant to me. I probably was not ready for how this was going to change my life until the moment I stepped into your studio that day. It was no coincidence that I was here. I sat quietly, with an open mind and open heart, as you shared the many benefits of yoga. You spoke about the power of the mind and the impact of negative thoughts and I immediately realized that this was my problem. I took pages and pages of notes during the workshop and came home and reviewed them that first night. I have never felt so hopeful; I had finally figured IT out. I now knew the secret too. I realized that I had total control over my future. The next day I returned, ready to absorb more of your wisdom. I learned the enormous power of vibrations. I learned that my belief system was shaping my life and determining my physical state. I had put so much pressure on myself in school and now in my career, on my relationships, on being perfect. This stress was in turn having a negative impact on my body. My physical being could no longer handle the stress and it therefore was physically manifesting itself in these conditions I was now living with. Conditions that were affecting every area of my life.

So I learned that I needed to change my belief system. I had power over my thoughts and those thoughts would shape my life. So instead of concentrating on the negative, I began to focus on what I wanted my life to be. I put the question out there. What is my purpose? I put it out there and then trusted that it was going to be taken care of. Once I did that, I waited for the changes that were going to arise in my life. I asked for divine intervention and then I told myself that I would be open to the changes that would come my way. My life was so altered at the end of the workshop that when we practiced corpse pose, my eyes swelled with tears. My body was shaking with the changes that were already manifesting.

Implementing the wisdom you imparted that weekend and continuing an invigorated, thoughtful, and mindful yoga practice, I saw major life changes occurring. First, I stopped taking my medications for depression and anxiety. I did not need them anymore. I started eating completely organic with your prompting which made me feel healthier. And without even remembering when it occurred, I no longer experienced headaches, carpal tunnel, hip problems, or back problems. I used to beg for my husband to give me massages every night I was in such pain. Now yoga is my massage therapy. I don’t experience those aches and pains anymore, except for the good pains after an especially vigorous workout. I also no longer experienced gynecological pain. And this girl that doctors told may never be able to have children was pregnant within 5 months of practicing yoga, our first time trying. Listening to my body, I knew the exact moment we conceived. I didn’t even need a pregnancy test to tell me I was pregnant. I was that in touch with my body.

My pregnancy was amazing. I was full of energy, did not suffer the ailments that other pregnant women experience such as bloating, exhaustion, etc. In fact, I felt so wonderful that I practiced yoga up until the day before my son was born. During delivery, I practiced my breathing and vibrations that I learned only from yoga. These tools ensured me a healthy delivery and a remarkably fast recovery……. While I don’t deny being sore for a few days, I never took pain medicine after leaving the hospital. And I was back in your studio (with only slight modifications because of nursing) just 4 weeks later. My doctor was shocked. He had witnessed the power of yoga. What he didn’t understand was it was the power of my mind that allowed me to heal like I did. Yoga simply gave me the tools to heal. I wasn’t the only beneficiary of that power.

My son was entranced by the vibrations I would use to calm him. If it wasn’t for the “ohms” I learned in your practice, I don’t know how we would have survived. Still to this day, they calm him. Not long after, I became pregnant again and experienced that same beautiful pregnancy, delivery and recovery with my daughter.

……….years since I stepped into your studio and decided to change my life. I am a happy person who has a wonderful, loving marriage and now two beautiful, happy children (note: E.W. is due in March, 2007 with her 3rd child). I left a lucrative legal career during my first pregnancy to be home with my children, which has made me more fulfilled than I could ever imagine. Of course, I am a work in progress, but I hope that I will only continue to grow with help from the tools you have given me. I know you don’t like taking credit for these changes, but YOU are the reason I have been blessed with what I have. If I had not found you Suze, it scares me to think where I would be right now. I was searching for answers and you helped me understand how I needed to ask for them. I was searching for a healthier spirit, a healthier mind, a healthier body, and you have helped me achieve that. I hope you understand that I am just one story. Our studio if filled with people like me that have been positively impacted by your love and energy. I know that it is hard and often exhausting to give what you give to all of us, but we are so blessed and so thankful for the sacrifices you have made to help all of us BE TRUE TO OURSELVES.
Thank you for being who you are and helping me change my life. ~~ E.W.